The night of St.Patrick , the black ships of BLUEBEARD attacked the defenseless town of PORT TIKI...
Pillage, plunder and loot left the unfortunate town burning red at night...and it was told the Governor NORWOOD
and his daughter were taken as hostages by BLUEBEARD and his men for a high ransom...
MARY :"What happened here ?!...I see BLUEBEARD and his men, festoying with their trophy at the bow..."
ANNE :"MARY MOTHER OF GOD!...I KNEW IT !...The Governor's daughter...the name's NANCY NORWOOD...
We're been friends since kids, and even then, when I left everything behind and became a pirate with you, we've always found
some ways to keep in touch... I swear I won't let any of these vile and dissolute creatures lay a hand on her !"
The pirates drinking and singing :
"We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot !...
Drink up me 'earties YO HO !
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot !...
Drink up me 'earties YO HO !...
YO HO ! YO HO !... a pirate's life for me !...
We extort, we pilfer, we filch and sack ! DRINK UP ?!..."
THE GOVERNOR :"DON'T HURT MY DAUGHTER, DAMN YOU !...She's just an innocent young lady!"
NANCY :"BLOODY PIRATES ! Get your hands off me or you will pay dearly for that !"
MARY :"RAISE THE WHITE FLAG, TONKA ! Hands, grapnels, at the ready !... PREPARE TO BOARD!... "
TONKA :"AT YOUR COMMAND, MISS MARY !..."
Pirate :"SIR !...PIRATE SHIP APPROACHING ! WHITE FLAG !...THEY WANT TO TALK !..."
BLUEBEARD :"AYE, AYE...THAT'S ANNE & MARY, OUR PIRATE SKIRTS !...HA ! HA !...LET THEM COME !"
PIRATE ONE: "HEY YOU! GET AWAY FROM HERE !...MEN, KEEP YOUR GUNS ON THEM !"
PIRATE TWO :"YOU DON'T HAVE THE PERMISSION TO BE ABOARD HERE, MATE !..."
MARY :" PARLEY !... I invoke the right of parley !... According to the Code of the Brethren,
set down by the Pirates MORGAN and BARTHOLOMEW , you have to take me to your Captain !"
PIRATE TWO: "She wants to be taken to the Captain !... We must honor the Code!"
ANNE : "OUTTA OUR WAY, SCUM !"
MARY : "BLUEBEARD, if an adversary demands parley, you can do them no harm until the parley is complete, right ?!..."
BLUEBEARD: "AND WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT, MISSY ?...A share of my catch ?!...HA ! HA !..."
ANNE :" BLUEBEARD , we're here to negotiate the liberation of the hostages, the Governor and his daughter !...You have done enough harm to the people of PORT TIKI yesterday night and your swords are still stained with the blood of their victims..."
NANCY NORWOOD :"ANNE MY DEAR FRIEND ! You've come to rescue me !"
ANNE :"Good to see ye well, NANCY ! Patience ! We'll get out of here soon !"
MARY :"BLUEBEARD, name your terms !..."
BLUEBEARD :"HO HO !...EASY, missy !...There's a lot of long words in there, miss...and a lot of money too !...
We're just humble pirates ya see and ....WE JUST WANNA KEEP WHAT WE GOT !...
I guess I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request, missy !...MEN, SEIZE THEM ! ... HA ! HA ! HA !...."
MARY :"BUT THE CODE !?...BLUEBEARD, YOU MUST HONOR THE CODE !"
BLUEBEARD : " TO BLAZES WITH THE CODE !...HA HA HA !...NO SHOOT ! I WANT THEM ALIVE ! YO HO !..."
ANNE (sighs) :"Not even one good deed to redeem this man of his lifetime of wickedness !...EN GARDE, BLUEBEARD !"
MARY :"YOU FECKLESS PACK OF COWARDS !...TOO MANY OF YOU AGAINST TWO WOMEN !...
GOT TO USE MY "DEUX" !....LET THEM EAT MY POWDER !..."
ANNE :"C'MON, YE SCABROUS DOGS !...BRING IT ON !"
ANNE : "HEY YE!...Follow me on the mast !... Excellent form !... But how's your footwork?...Not that easy, Aye ?... TA DA !.."
PIRATE :"BLOODY #@$*&+" BITCH !...I'M GONNA GET YE !"
MARY :"YE RUMMY GANGRENOUS ONE-EYED CRAP !...Feast your eye before you'll lost that one too !"
THE ONE-EYED PIRATE :"DAMN YE !...In exchange, I'll cut ye throat and spill all ye blood all over the ocean !"
MARY :"HOW 'BOUT THAT, YE DOG ?!...SAVVY ?!...BLOCK THIS !"
THE ONE-EYED PIRATE :" WHAT DA HELL !?!..."
ANNE :"TOUCHE !...Dead Men Tell No Tales, Aye ?...A good pirate is a dead pirate !"
ANNE :"NOW YOUR TURN, YE PACK OF BLASTED BASTARDS !...YO HO !
Ye see, it's frightful bad luck to bring a woman aboard !..."
CAPTAIN HICKINSON OF THE "INTREPID" : " I need a full strike, fore and aft! Let these demons both bite at this!"
"READY, AIM...FIRE !..."
PIRATE ONE :"CAPTAIN !...The "INTREPID" ! It's gaining on us ! BLOODY HELL !...They fire at us !"
BLUEBEARD :"WHAT THE HELL!?!...WEIGH ANCHOR ! HOIST THE SAILS ! MAKE QUICKLY, DIVVIES !"
BLUEBEARD :"HAUL ON THE MAIN BRACE ! MAKE READY THE GUNS !...FIRE ALL !"
"Blast all to carcasses, men! Forward clear to the powder magazine !"
KABOOM !.... KABOOM !....KABOOM !....
TONKA jumping aboard : "HERE I AM, SCALLYWAGS !...DARING ATTACKING MY BOSSES, HUMM ?!..."
THE PIRATES :"WATCH OUT !...THAT'S TONKA THE "FEARLESS" !...EV'RYBODY ON HIM !"
TONKA :"MAKE MY DAY,YE SCUMS !..."
MARY :"GOT YE !...That was short hey !(sighs)"
CAPTAIN HICKINSON to the soldiers :"THE GOVERNOR AND HIS DAUGHTER ARE SIGHTED ON BOARD !... HOLD YOUR FIRE !"
PIRATES , THROWN DOWN YOUR WEAPONS AND SURRENDER OR YOU'LL BE BLOWN AWAY BY OUR CANNONS !"
BLUEBEARD and his pirates in complete disarray :"WE SURRENDER !...DON'T SHOOT !"
CAPTAIN HICKINSON :"AIM THE PIRATES !... MEN , PREPAPE TO BOARD ! "
The two ships come up side by side... grapple hooks are thrown as the soldiers board BLUEBEARD's ship !
CAPTAIN HICKINSON :"BLUEBEARD !...For your willful commission of crimes against the crown.... Said crimes being numerous in quantity and sinister in nature, the most egregious of these to be cited herewith piracy, smuggling, sailing under false colors, arson, kidnapping, looting, poaching, brigandage, pilfering, depravity, depredation, and general lawlessness...
BLUEBEARD, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST !... SOLDIERS, KEEP YOUR GUNS ON HIM AND FETCH SOME IRONS !..."
CAPTAIN HICKINSON :"But, GOVERNOR, they are pirates too !...By the laws, they must be stopped !"
THE GOVERNOR :"To hell with the laws, CAPTAIN !... Can't you make the difference between a good pirate and a bad one ?..."
NANCY the daughter :"ANNE and MARY, you look absolutely terrific...stunning !...WOW !
Father, do me a favor... May I join them ? ...I always dreamed to be a pirate myself !..."
THE GOVERNOR :"BUT... NANCY, don't you think it's a good decision ?"
NANCY :"Don't worry, Father !...They are my friends !...I'm grown up now !"
THE GOVERNOR :"Well. you know that you've always been spoiled since you were born...You two, take good care of my daughter !"
ANNE :"WE WILL, GOVERNOR !...With Her Majesty's blessings !"
CAPTAIN HICKINSON :" BUT...BUT...GOVERNOR, you've promised me your daughter's hand, remember ?...
By The Crown of ENGLAND, you cannot let them get away with your daughter, my future wife !..."
THE GOVERNOR :"CAPTAIN, you know my daughter...She always get what she wants !...LET THEM SAIL FREE!... AND YOU, CAPTAIN...I trust you'll always remember this as the day the most notorious and dangerous pirate BLUEBEARD was captured !"
ANNE, MARY & NANCY altogether shouting to the crew: "WIND IN THE SAILS ! WIND IN THE SAILS !...
ALL OF YOU, faithful hands before the mast, every man worth his salt ! And crazy to boot !...."
Original story by ACTIONPAL.
Background music :"SAIL AWAY" by ENYA.Pirate expressions & dialogues borrowed from the "Pirates of the Caribbeans" movie.