"ALICE AND THE WHITE RABBIT"
The WHITE RABBIT is a bit twitchy and rushed, but he's a good friend. He summons ALICE to return and liberate WONDERLAND...
but in typical fashion, the WHITE RABBIT gets too far ahead of ALICE. Finding him again is for ALICE an adventure in itself...
THE WHITE RABBIT :"Oh my furry ears and whiskers !...OH DEAR !....I'll be so late !...We'll be so late !"
ALICE :"MISTER RABBIT !...PLEASE WAIT FOR ME !...MISTER RABBIT !"
THE WHITE RABBIT :"OH DEAR ! OH DEAR !...Look how late it's getting !...We 'll be so late !"
ALICE clearing her throat:" How do I get into the house, SIR ? I'm so BIG !...If only I was smaller..."
THE WHITE RABBIT :"No need! Look through that window, ALICE, and you'll be IN !...FOLLOW ME!"
ALICE :"WAIT !...WAIT, MISTER RABBIT !...he's gone !...POOR ME !...What should I do ?...
Like he said, all I got to do is look through that window ...Curiouser and curiouser...and...O-OH !..."
Right away, ALICE was sucked into the window and thrown down into a large rabbit-hole...
ALICE :"OH MY GOD !...I'M FALLING !...I wonder how many miles I have fallen by this time...
Down and down I go...I wonder what Longitude or Latitude I got to go...
I have no idea what Longitude is or Latitude either...but these are nice grand words to say... "
AND REMEMBER ALICE, WHATEVER HAPPENS...
FLOOD OR EARTHQUAKE, THE SHOW MUST GO ON !... ( echoing )
"CHERRY RIPE CHERRY RIPE...RIPE I CRY..."
"FOOLS AND FAIR ONES...COME AND BUY..." ( singing )
ALICE :"What happened to me ?...Where am I ?...Oh my head...What a fall!"
TWEEDLEDEE :"May we have the privilege to introduce ourselves...I 'm Mister TWEEDLEDEE...
...And he is Mister TWEEDLEDUM !...We are twins !...NOHOW(altogether)! "
ALICE :"I'm ALICE...HEY !...WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME ?...That was nice of you to welcome a girl like me !"
TWEEDLEDUM :"SO !...What a pretty girl like you doing in a not pretty place like this ?!..."
TWEEDLEDEE :"YES !...What a pretty girl like you doing in a not pretty place like this ?!...NOHOW(altogether)!...."
TWEEDLEDUM :"As a matter of fact, we have to SACRIFICE someone today !...NOHOW(altogether)!"
ALICE :"GOSH !...NOOO !...NOT NOW !... Please tell me... What am I supposed to do?"
ALICE :"HEY!...You're hurting me!...PLease go easy on me, will you ?"
TWEEDLEDEE :" Girls !...They're all the same !...NOHOW(altogether) !"
ALICE : "WAIT !...I was just thinking of a poem of you two...What if I recite it to you , will you let me go ? LISTEN ....""TWEEDLEDEE and TWEEDLEDUM agreed to have a battle...
For TWEEDLEDUM said TWEEDLEDEE had spoiled his nice new rattle,
Just then flew down a monstruous crow as black as a tar-barrel...
Which frightened both the heroes so they quick forgot their quarrel !..."
TWEEDLEDUM :"You recited that poem very nicely...but you see, young lady, it was wrong from beginning
to end and you can't get wronger than that !...NOHOW(altogether)!"
TWEEDLEDEE :"He's right!...you can't get wronger than that !...SORRY, young lady, you have to be SACRIFICED !..."
ALICE to herself:"Man...This time I'm really in deep trouble !...Poor me !...POOR ALICE !"
"ALICE AND MISTER RAT"
MISTER RAT :"HUMMM...Young and tender meat for dinner...something I can't afford everyday !"
ALICE :"CHESHIRE PUSS !...COME AND HELP ME !...HE'S GONNA EAT ME!..."CHESHIRE CAT :"No worry, he's gonna play with you first... and then will eat you alive !...
But, hold on, ALICE !...
I've brought you this Vorpal Blade !...It's lethal and it cut though your iron chains!"MISTER RAT :"WADDA !?!...HEY YOU !...DAMN YOU CHESHIRE CAT !...DARE YOU DISRUPT MY APPETITE !?"
ALICE :"TAKE YOUR CLAWS OFF ME, YOU DIRTY VICIOUS RAT !...
QQQUICK, CHESHIRE PUSS !!...
OH MY GOSH!...HE'S AROUSED !...NOOO !"
CHESHIRE CAT :"ALMOST DONE ALICE!...NOW !...HERE TAKE THE VORPAL BLADE, ALICE, AND SLICE HIM DOWN!..."
ALICE :" GOT IT !...FOR YOU, DIRTY VICIOUS RAT!..."MISTER RAT :"WADDA!?!...SHE CUT ME IN HALF
WITH THAT KITCHEN KNIFE !?!...I'M DYING !!!..."
The CHESHIRE CAT is ALICE's constant companion. Not only does he provide unsolicited guidance throughout her adventure,
but also he provides advice on request. He's not always easy to understand, but he's comforting nevertheless...
ALICE :"CHESHIRE PUSS, thank you for saving my life!...I was thinking which is the best way out of the woods...would you tell me please ?..."CHESHIRE CAT :"Well, it depends where you want to get to..."
ALICE :"Out of the woods !...Out of danger !... It's safer out there!"CHESHIRE CAT :"Sometimes things that look safe turn out to be nasty, and things that look nasty
turn out to be safe...That's immoral !"ALICE :"But I don't want to meet mad people !"CHESHIRE CAT :"But you can't help it...Everyone here is mad...I'm mad, you're mad, everybody's mad..."ALICE :"But how do you know I'm mad ?...CHESHIRE CAT :"Because you're here...and everybody here is mad !..."
ALICE :"Life must be hard for you, CHESHIRE PUSS!..."
CHESHIRE CAT :"But I grin and bear it...I've been at a hunting ball once, I didn't like it...
They all started hunting me !....Terrible people !"
ALICE :"What sort of people live out there?"CHESHIRE CAT :"Well, a hatter lives over here and a gentleman called HARE nickname MARCH lives over there...
They're probably having a tea party !....Follow my pointed paw !"If you don't take any, you'll make a mistake...
Which path shall you go ? Which path shall you take ?
You have to move on, though you tremble and quake..."(singing)
"ALICE AND THE MAD HATTER "
There was a table set out under a tree, and the MARCH HARE and the HATTER were having tea at it...
ALICE :"I'm ALICE, SIR...Who do I have the honor of addressing ?"
MAD HATTER :"People called me MAD THE HATTER, and here's MARCH my tea-time fellow!...Were're having tea all day long !"
MARCH :"Please join the party...Here, young lady !...Drink a strong cup of our herbal tea...he..he... !"
MAD HATTER :"Why is a raven like a writing-desk ?...Can you guess this one, young lady ?"
ALICE :"What did you put in my tea ?...I feel strange and dizzy...YOU HAVE DRUGGED ME !...Ohhh..." and she felt...
MAD HATTER :"My young lady, you shouldn't trust strangers !...HA ! HA ! HA ! HA !...."
ALICE :"What a curious feeling ! I must be shutting up like a telescope...Where am I ?...Where are my clothes ?...Why I'm here ?..."
MAD HATTER :"I've seen a good many young girls in my times, but never one with such a body as that !"
ALICE :"You have touched me, my breasts, my hips, all over...and even...GOSH !"
MAD HATTER :"Your hair wants cutting ! I cut what I like...and I like what I cut !"
CHESHIRE CAT :"WATCH OUT ALICE !...He's gonna rip you off this time !...Take the Vorpal Blade behind you !"
ALICE to the HATTER:"You might just as well say "I slash what I see and I see what I slash !...TAKE THAT !..."
CHESHIRE CAT :"THAT WAS CLOSE !...People called him the MAD HATTER here but,in the other dimension...
your world, ALICE, Victorian time, he was known as... JACK THE RIPPER !" ALICE :"HOW DREADFULLY SAVAGE !...At any rate, I'll never go here again !...
It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life !...NEVER AND NEVER AGAIN !"
MAD HATTER's blood-dripping head :"SPARKLE, MISS!...SPARKLE !...SPARLKLE !" these were his last words...Twinkle, twinkle little bat!
How I wonder where you're at..."
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky,
Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle....
ALICE :"CHESHIRE PUSS ! Would you tell me which way I got to go from here ?..."
CHESHIRE CAT :"Keep the Vorpal Blade, you will need it!...To the QUEEN's Castle of course !...
THAT WAY!... You can't miss it !...Follow my pointed paw !"
There were doors all along the hall, but they were all locked and when ALICE had been all the way down
one side and up
the other, trying every door, she came up upon a large game room where THE QUEEN OF HEARTS, with her long procession of courtiers and soldiers, was having a croquet party !...
ALICE've finally came face to face with the QUEEN OF HEARTS herself.... Like the rest of WONDERLAND, she's not as ALICE remembered her...She was holding the Croquet Mallet, symbol of evil power and domination over WONDERLAND...
THE QUEEN severely :"WHO IS THIS ?"
ALICE :"My name is ALICE, so please your Majesty..."THE QUEEN :"DO YOU PLAY CROQUET !?!..."ALICE :"Yes,your Majesty... but at one condition...That you put an end to your tyranny upon your subjects!"
THE QUEEN turned crimson with fury and after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, screamed :
"HOLD YOUR TONGUE, CHILD !...HOW DARE YOU !...CHOP ! CHOP ! CHOP ! OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!..."
ALICE :"There you go again...Losing your temper !...
It's against your own QUEEN's regulations !....HOW ABOUT I CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF FIRST BEFORE YOU HAVE MINE CHOPPED !..."
At this, the whole pack of soldiers came jumping upon ALICE...she gave a little scream, half of fright...
and half of anger and tried to beat them off with her Vorpal Blade!...It was a nice massacre...BRAVE ALICE !...
"WHO CARES FOR YOU?...AFTER ALL, YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A PACK OF CARDS !!"
ALICE :"WHAT HAPPENED ?...WHERE'S EVERYBODY ?...DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG ?..."
CHESHIRE CAT :"No, you didn't, ALICE !"
ALICE :"But where are you CHESHIRE PUSS ?...I can't see you !..."
CHESHIRE CAT :"You can't see me but I've always been with you...following all your adventures ...
You have saved WONDERLAND from evil and restore its magic and fairies..."
ALICE :"CHESHIRE PUSS, please tell me it's just a dream !..."
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are now 7 miles out of San Francisco and will be landing very shortly....Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened... I have some good news. We have made up the lost time, and our E.T.A.. (that's estimated time of arrival) in San Francisco, is now 11:05 p.m. East Coast time. If you want to set your watches, it is now 10:30 local time, and we'll soon be commencing our descent into San Francisco. The temperature on the ground is approximately 31º Centigrade, with clear blue skies and a lovely day.... We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today!...."
ALICE :"Good lord !...What a long sleep I've had and what a curious dream !...When I was younger and used to read a lot of fairy tales, I never thought I end up one day in the middle of one !...Well, back to the dull reality now !"
Background music :"Boondock Saints" Theme.Digital backgrounds thanks to artists Section200 and Zappazorn.Reference book :"Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" by Lewis Carroll.Other sources of inspiration :McFarlane's ALICE toy series and the "American McGee's ALICE" game.
